God's Alarm Clock - 5:45 am Wake Up Call

This morning I woke up at 5:45 am. Nope, that wasn't part of my plan. Especially since I wasn't asleep till after midnight. But yet there I was, wide awake, wondering what I was going to do for the next few hours before church started. The thoughts began racing through my head of all that awaited me today, between church in the morning, our confirmation kickoff this afternoon, followed by youth group tonight. I wanted nothing more than to just roll back over and go back to sleep... but I could tell that wasn't going to happen. 

So I got up and moved to the couch, and my dog Ramble looked at me like I was crazy cause he knows we are never awake that early. I considered turning on the TV and seeing what was on at this unreasonable hour. A thought of taking an early morning walk quickly dissipated once I checked the temperature and saw it was below 40 degrees. But I just kept coming back to all I had going on today, thinking of my roles this morning at church, followed by what I needed to do to finalize prepping for my afternoon and evening youth activities. And I started to freak out a bit, as I thought to myself "There are just not going to be enough hours in the day to get everything done." 

Yet here I was, wide awake at 5:45 am, thinking, maybe there was a reason for this. So I busted out my laptop and began to work.

But it was a different kind of work. Normally when I get to work it's tweaking this or that, making adjustments here or there, reviewing this section of my lesson or playing out how the game is gonna go in my head. But as I sat in my house this morning, it was completely silent. I sat there in the stillness and I began to pray. I prayed over the events that were going to take place today. I prayed over each page of my lessons, I prayed over the game, I prayed for the students that I would be talking to today. And I also just sat, in the stillness, in the presence of God. And it was beautiful. 

It's hard for me to believe that I've worked in full time ministry nearly 8 years now, serving as youth pastor at 3 different churches in that time span. There have been many highlights of my ministry that I remember so well. There have also been many struggles in my ministry career. Seasons of change, disappointment, and whatever other challenges life and working in ministry could throw at you, it seems I've faced them all or I'm going through them right now. 

And as I sat in the silence this morning... I began to think about why I even did this. Why was I in ministry? Why do I even believe in God? Why am I a Christian? Who am I to be called and equipped to lead teenagers? And I prayed, and I sat, and I listened and let God speak. And through him speaking, I realized some things today about myself and my relationship with God. 

My life is a mess sometimes. Actually maybe sometimes is an understatement, maybe most of the time. Now some of you who see me and see my post on Facebook think "There is no way that is true! His life looks amazing and he always seems to have it together." Well maybe somedays I do, but other days I am faking it with the best of them. I can throw my highlights out on social media and make my life look good. But all too often, my life is a wreck.

But there is one consistent in my life, and thats God. No matter how many changes or trials I face in my life, more than I can even fathom at times, God never changes. And I'm thankful for that. I can always tell in my life when I'm the one trying to lead or I'm letting God lead. Because the moment I try to take control, the moment I think I've got my life together, I usually get humbled by something that quickly reminds me I don't. And I have to rely on God to lead me where I need to go. I need to stay in tune with his will, by no power of my own, but instead only of his grace and mercy.  And I'm thankful for a God who never changes. I'm thankful for a God who stays consistent yesterday, today and tomorrow. I'm thankful for a God who is there with me to celebrate my highs and my lows. 

Back in October, I made the decision to move to Lexington, SC. Uprooted my life in Southern Pines, leaving behind some highs but a lot of lows, for a chance to restart my life in a new town, a new job, and surrounded by people I love and people that love me, something that hadn't been a big part of my life in my previous years. Add in a global pandemic which didn't help anything. Chances are, if you were to walk up to me right now and ask me how I've enjoyed my time in Lexington and how my life is going, I would tell you it was amazing. It was all I could ever ask for. It's incredible to be closer to my family who I've seen more in the past 4 months than I did in the previous 4 years. I would tell you how many amazing people I've already met here, how awesome it is to be back close to some of my best friends from college, and how much I love and beg for a night to myself because I am constantly with people and that can be exhausting sometimes. And oh the irony that comes from me saying that statement because in the past year all I had was nights to myself, and I was longing for the human interaction that I have now.  And at the end of you asking me this question, I would probably say something like "I wouldn't trade my life right now for anything."

Heres the thing, everything I said above is 100% true. My life truly has made an incredible shift since moving to Lexington, and it has all been for the better. After experiencing some extreme loneliness and sadness while living in Southern Pines, I'm constantly around people I love and love me right back, and I love that. But, my life is far from perfect. Moving to Lexington has come with its own challenges. Some expected, others completely unexpected. There have been moments since moving here where I've been in the valley, yelling at God saying "Really? I have to go through this again?" But there have also been moments where God and I have been dancing together on the mountaintop and celebrating all the wonderful changes in my life. 

But you know what hasn't changed? God. And I'm thankful for that. As I sit here tonight, and reflect on what was a loooong day of ministry, Im exhausted. Physically, its tough to keep my eyes open right now (I guess that's what happens when you wake up at 5:45 am). But at the same time, my heart is exploding  because of all that God did today. 

As I reflect back on those questions I was asking myself this morning, I've just been reminded of how humbling a day like today can be. Because literally from the moment I woke up this morning, I wasn't on my time. I was on God's time, All Day Long. I didn't wanna wake up at 5:45 am. But that was when God decided to start my day. And God continued to move and work in me all day long. 

And I've just been constantly reminded of God's presence in me today. And at the end of the day while I'm exhausted, I'm extremely happy and my heart is full. But thats because I rediscovered my true happiness in God today. It's not even that I lost it. It hasn't gone away, its always been there, I just needed to be reminded of it. 

While sitting here tonight, I've been reminded that my life is nothing without God. And more importantly, I've been reminded that everything I do in my life is for Him and Him alone. I moved to Lexington to find happiness. And I've found many things that make me happy here, and so many blessings have poured into my life. But, today, Sunday, February 20, 2022, I remembered my true happiness. Because nothing in this world can make me as happy as the love, grace, and mercy of God and my lord and savior Jesus Christ. 

A few scripture verses have also been on my heart today. 

Psalm 46:10 -- He says, "Be Still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 139:7-12 -- Where can I go from your Spirit? Where I can flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there you hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you, the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.  

These verses have been my prayer all day today. First, I was thankful God gave me some moments of stillness and silence this morning, but so that HE could be praised, not me. He shall be exalted, not me. 

But secondly, I'm thankful that I can't go anywhere without God. And I don't want to. I'm thankful God has followed my life every step of the way, from Spartanburg, to Due West, to Charleston, back to Spartanburg, up to Southern Pines, and He's right here with me in Lexington. 

I realize the length of this blog, and I think theres a 93.47% chance no one is even reading it at this point anymore. But if you are, let me challenge you with this. Why do YOU believe in God? Why are YOU a Christian? Maybe someone reading this isn't a Christian, so let me ask you this, Why not? Because you're missing out on a lot. A true joy and happiness that can't be found anywhere else. 

I could get to the end of the day and sing my own praises for all I've accomplished today, all the good ministry that happened today (or at least I hope it happened). But I'm not. Instead, I'm going to return the glory and praise back to God. Because he deserves it all. 

Today, maybe more than any other day in my entire life, I've been reminded of that. I've poured everything God gave me into today. But I give my all to him because he gave his all for me. I didn't write this blog post to brag about all I've accomplished in my long day. I wrote this because maybe someone out there needed to be reminded of this same message. Anything you do, do it all for the glory of God. Because today I've been reminded that no matter how much happiness Ive found on this earth, no matter how much joy I have in these changes in my life, that no friendship, no family, no relationship, no compliment, no prize, NOTHING can compare to the joy I rediscovered today in God the Father and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Because I'm here on this earth to do one thing and one thing only, and thats to give my life, my all to Him and him alone, so that when I finally get to grace his presence at the pearly gates, he can say "Well Done, my good and faithful servant."

When I do get to heaven, I'm going to have to answer for some things I've done and said. I'm going to have to repent of some sins I've made along the way, but I can also find hope, that because of God, because of Jesus' sacrifice, I'll get to enter those gates and spend eternity praising God. I can only hope that my life here on earth is a small reflection of what my life will be like in eternity.